Perfect Tree

The story of the "Perfect Tree" is quite involved but it's worth the telling. We went up into the Santa Cruz Mountains the first week in December. This has become quite a tradition with us. For a couple of years we took the kids but they don't seem to really enjoy it and the weekends are so crowded. So for the last couple of years just the two of us have gone in the middle of the week. It usually takes us from 2 to 6 hours to find a tree that both of us can agree on. This year we went back to the same spot we got our tree last year and parked. While Analia was putting on her tennies, I hiked up the hill to look around. About two minutes later I found a beautiful tree. I went back to the car and told Analia that she didn't need to put on her shoes because I had already found the tree. Well you know how wives are, she had to see for herself so we went up and looked at the tree together. She agreed that it was very nice but she really had her heart set on tramping around the hills for at least an hour to get some exercise. So we did.

After about an hour, I came upon a tree that was growing just off of the trail. It was down hill from me so I was looking at about it's middle. I went and got Analia and we both looked at it. We walked around and around trying to size the thing up. But no matter which direction we looked at it, it looked great. Finally we decided that there couldn't be a more beautiful tree anywhere. It was probably about a half a second after I finished cutting the tree that we got our first hint that we were in trouble. It fell on Analia and she is lucky to be alive. It is incredible how much bigger this thing was laying down. The two of us could just barely budge it and we had to go over a very small rise to get to the car. Well, I went down to the main gate and offered an old guy $5 to help me get it to the car. The two of us drug this thing up the rise, down the hill and finally to the car. I kept suggesting to him that we measure it and trim it to a more manageable size but he kept assuring me that it was all right. When we got it to the car and measured it, it was 25 feet long. We cut off a huge piece of the base of it and loaded it on the car. I could just barely lift the piece that we cut off. At any rate we managed to get it home.

Laying on the driveway it didn't look so bad. Actually at this point it didn't look much bigger that several trees we have had. But then we stood it up to brush it off. It is hard to describe the sickness that I felt in the pit of my stomach. This thing was still huge. I cut off another 3 feet from the base and got it down to 13 feet. Even at this Analia and I couldn't handle it alone. So I went and got my neighbor to come over and help me get it in the house. Our ceiling at the highest point is 15.5 feet. We set the stand where the tree should go and took it in through the front door, base first. We just barely cleared the front door when the base reached the stand. We tipped it up and balanced it in the stand. When it was finally secure, we stepped back to look at it.

Remember how sick I was outside? This time I nearly threw up. It was about 3 inches short of touching the ceiling and was touching the wall on one side and the breakfront on the other. This thing was ten feet wide. My neighbor had tickets to see the Warriors play in Oakland and quickly excused himself. Analia and I just stood and stared at it. After the initial shock wore off we started trying to figure out how to decorate it. Well the front side was no problem, if you don't consider trying to decorate any part of a 13 X 10 tree a problem. We have an eight-foot stepladder that would allow us to reach most of the front. The problem is that the other side of the tree was blocking the entrance to the dinning room that only has an eight foot ceiling. There was absolutely no way to decorate the dinning room side of the tree above 6-8 feet. And did I mention the fact that this thing looked like it was growing out of the living room floor. The mind simply would not accept that it had been carried in.

We finally convinced ourselves that this thing could not share Christmas with us. But now a real problem, how do you get a tree that is 10 feet wide out a 3-foot door unless you take it out base first? And how were we going to get it out base first? There wasn't room in the living room to turn it around. Well I finally got 2 more neighbors to come and help me lift it straight up and haul it out. Seeing it lying on the driveway once more, I got a pretty good idea of how David must have felt viewing the slain Goliath.

Well, as in all good stories this one has a happy ending. I went up with one of my neighbors the next morning and got the first tree I had looked at and it was perfect. And what happened to the monster in our driveway? The couple across the street had just moved here from Texas and had never had a live tree. They had decided that they just couldn't afford to get one this year either. We gave it to them and they cut it again and used the upper two-thirds as their tree. They were really thrilled.

Gale L. Wolfenbarger

10 May 1988

The Perfect Tree

The day was cool and cloudy

but the sun was peeking through.

The autumn leaves of red and gold

gave the world a golden hue.

Our hearts were light and cheery,

there was adventure in the air.

We'd come to find the perfect tree

so tall and straight and fair.

We hiked the hills and hiked the vales,

we searched both far and wide --

A thousand trees on every hill,

so many spots to hide.

Some were crooked, bowed and bent

with signs of winters rage,

Some had limbs sparse and bare

and some as thick as sage.

Some were tall and some were short

and some were in between,

But none were found that could be said

"the best we'd ever seen".

We looked until our eyes were tired,

our legs were cramped in knots,

Our feet cried out with every step

and still we would not stop.

And just as we were want to quit

and give up in despair,

Our eyes were drawn to a single tree

like a vision standing there.

It seemed to us the perfect tree

so tall and straight and true,

And every way we looked at it,

it seemed the perfect view.

We cut it down and took it home

and singing all the way,

For we had found the perfect tree

and enjoyed the perfect day.

And when at last we were at home

and gazed upon our prize,

A funny thing, it seemed to grow

and soar before our eyes.

The lovely tree that seemed so fair

when standing on the hill

Now loomed above our shrinking door

and seemed the yard to fill.

We thought we might by cutting it

reduce the frightful size.

But even if the top would fit

the sides were much too wide.

And so my friends take lesson

from a silly sap like me --

Make sure you have the perfect house

to hold the perfect tree.

Gale L. Wolfenbarger, Dec 1986